Scared of Goodbye Series S4 BTS pt 4 WT R
by spikeme4now
Summary: What happened between WT in Goodbye Iowa


Title: SCARED OF GOODBYE  
Series: S4 Behind The Scenes   
Author: spikeme4now4200  
Email: spikeme4now4200@yahoo.com.au  
Copyright: November 28 2002  
Spoilers: Season 4 episode "Goodbye Iowa" forms the background of this fic. Everything up to and including this episode is fair game for spoilerage. You'll also be spoiled if you don't know about Tara's little secret as revealed in the Season 5 episode "Family"   
Pairing: Willow/Tara  
Rating: R (Naughty Thoughts)  
Rating Disclaimer: The story would've been all pure and PG like, but the thoughts of two young sexy witches who have just realised their attraction for one another, tend to border on the racy side. . . Therefore, in order to remain true to the story, I had to give the thoughts of these two beautiful girls free reign ;-)  
Disclaimer: The story is mine, but I don't own any of the characters created by Joss Whedon et al. . . you all know who they are. I don't wish to harm them, I simply want to borrow them and have a little bit of fun with them :-)  
Feedback: Yes Please!!!!  
Distribution: Everywhere and Anywhere, just let me know where.  
Summary: A behind the scenes take on what happened between Willow and Tara during the Season 4 episode Goodbye Iowa.  
  
Author's Notes: This is in response to the challenge I posted on the [willowtarafanficstation] mailing list early October. I thought it would be cool to remember how the Willow/Tara relationship first started. This is the 4th in a series of 9 behind-the-scenes stories that deal with the start of the W/T relationship. The series starts with the episode "Hush" and ends with the episode "New Moon Rising." Each story can be read as a standalone, and goes behind the scenes of one episode. I'll try to have one up every week or two.  
  
Side Note: Sorry for not posting the story sooner, but I'm an Australian uni student, and we just had our final exams the other week, so I kinda had to study a bit. . . But they're all over now, and I'm free to focus on better things. . . like my WT fanfic addiction \^_^/  
  
Extra Note: Once again, I got swept up with the story, so this instalment is even longer than the last one. In fact, I've actually written more to this story, but since it's not fully proof read, or completed, I've decided to include that in the next part. My next story, will continue directly on from this one. I would've waited on posting till I was finished, but I figured I've kept my fans waiting long enough ;-) For those of you who have written to me, I'd just like to say thanks again. I've always been shy about showing my writing, and your feedback has both boosted my confidence, and motivated me to keep writing.  
  
  
***  
  
  
Willow smiled into her book, having found the spell she was looking for. It was her way of helping, not to mention a perfect excuse to go see Tara again. She'd just spent the night with all Scooby members present. She'd wanted to patch up their relationship, get back all that closeness, but this had just been a little too much for her liking. What with Giles squeaking in his makeshift bed, and Anya snoring next to her, it wasn't what you'd call a heart-warming experience. . . Not like spending the night with Tara. . . At the thought of the other night, a huge smile lit her face, and her heart increased its beat. She'd had one of the most exhilarating experiences of her young life. She'd also realised that the feelings she had for the blonde, extended well beyond the boundaries of friendship. In fact, she was undeniably attracted to the girl, and falling harder for her every day.  
  
Suddenly, she needed to see her desperately. She'd wanted to see her ever since yesterday morning, when she'd walked out of the girl's room. As usual however, Scooby duties got in the way. As soon as Buffy had left their own room, she'd been called to help with Spike and the de-ionising spell. Thinking back to the spell, Willow realised she had Tara to thank for its success. She didn't think it would've worked without the help of the crystal she'd given her. Tara was such a sweetie. . .  
  
Willow called out to her oldest friend. "Xander!" She couldn't wait any longer to talk to Tara. "I need to use your phone, OK?" she asked.  
  
Xander looked up from where he and Anya were attempting to do research. "Sure," he replied, laughing at something his girlfriend said. "Whatever you want."  
  
Willow smiled, satisfied they weren't paying attention to her. She glanced over at Giles, noticing he too was busy. His nose was in a book, trying to find out everything he could about the Polgara demon. She grabbed the phone, and extending the cord, walked over to the most private corner of the room, before dialling Tara's number. She was completely on edge as she waited for the girl to pick up.   
  
"Hey," Tara's voice resonated from the phone.  
  
At the sound, Willow's breath caught and her smile widened.   
  
"I'll be back soon," Tara's machine spouted. "Please leave me a message. . . if you want to. . ."  
  
BEEP  
  
Feeling a little disappointed, Willow spoke hesitantly into the machine. "It's me. . . Willow. I, uh. . . guess you're in class or something. . . " She struggled for words, her nerves getting the better of her. "Can I come 'round later. . ?" Willow paused, realising the machine wasn't going to answer back. "Anyway, I'll um . . . see you soon," she finished, hanging up the phone.  
  
Willow couldn't believe how hard that had been. She hated the way the words had come out. They'd made her sound so. . . dorky. Willow walked back to where she'd left the spell book. She grabbed the book, and walked to the centre of the room. She couldn't just sit around and wait for Tara to get back. Hopefully, the girl would be home by the time she got all the spell ingredients together.  
  
"Hey guys," she let out, grabbing their attention. "I found this spell to locate demons."  
  
"You did?" Giles looked up from the book he was reading, his interest peaked.  
  
Willow looked at Giles and smiled. "Yeah, but all the stuff I need is at the dorm," she explained, walking towards the stairs. "I also need a few things from the magic shop as well."  
  
"Need any help?" Xander asked, eliciting a pout from Anya.  
  
"No thanks," she replied, already half way up the stairs. "I'll be fine." With those words, she rushed out the door, before Giles, or anyone else could protest. She really needed to see Tara. . . Now!  
  
  
***  
  
  
Tara opened the door, her mind still on the other night. She hadn't heard a single word her professor had said. Throughout the entire class, flashes of the other night kept popping into her mind. . . The way they'd let loose during that last spell, acting like children as they played around in the petals. . . The way Willow had smiled at her, held her in bed, kissed her cheek, hugged her. . . Tara closed her eyes at the last thought. She could remember the feel of the girl's breasts against hers, the smell of her hair, her arms around her waist, and her head on her shoulder. . .   
  
Opening her eyes, Tara closed the door behind her, and forced herself to focus on something else. Thinking about Willow was making her too damn aroused. She could feel her nipples hardening, feel the wetness gathering, as the incessant throbbing between her thighs begged for release. Sighing, she moved towards her desk. As she dropped her books on the table, she noticed the blinking of her answering machine. She wondered who it was. No one usually called her. . . except for Willow. Her heart racing, she rushed to hear the message.  
  
"It's me. . . Willow. I, uh. . . guess you're in class or something. . . Can I come 'round later. . ? Anyway, I'll um . . . see you soon."  
  
BEEP  
  
Tara was ecstatic. She was surprised Willow had called her so soon. Every other time they'd been together, she'd had to wait at least a couple of days before hearing from the girl again. Although, now that she thought about it, last night had been different. Last night the dynamic of their relationship had shifted somehow, and a whole new brand of closeness existed between them. Obviously, they'd shared a bed together, but it was more than just that. She'd opened up to Willow about her sexuality, and far from being freaked, Willow had been accepting. In fact, Willow had revealed that she too might have the ability to be attracted to girls. Top that off with the way Willow had snuggled up to her, and let loose during the final spell, it led her to believe that something had definitely been put into motion. Picking up her phone to return the call, Tara heard a knock at the door. Turning around, she knew instantly who it was, and rushed to let her friend in.  
  
Willow smiled as Tara opened the door. She'd been wanting to see her so badly, and now that she was here, she felt like she would explode from happiness. "Howdy," she grinned widely.  
  
Tara grinned back, overjoyed to see her. "I just got your message a minute ago, I was in class." she let out quickly, eager to explain. "But I was about to call you."  
  
Taking a step back, she let Willow come in, their eyes locked together.  
  
"I had so much fun the other night," Willow began softly. "Those spells. . ."  
  
Turning around, Tara closed the door before moving to stand next to Willow. "Yeah, that was nice," she agreed.  
  
Frowning, Willow suddenly realised what she'd said. She didn't want Tara to think the spells were the only thing she found memorable about the other night. She'd loved the way they'd opened up to each other, the way they'd snuggled, and even how they'd played around in the petals. This girl was really special to her, and she didn't want to upset her yet again. She was always putting her foot in her mouth, so it seemed.  
  
"I hope you don't think that I just come over for the spells and everything," Willow tried to explain. "I mean, I really like just talking, and hanging out with you, and stuff. . ."  
  
The blonde smiled at Willow, warmed by what she'd said. "I know that," she reassured. "But you wanna do a spell. . ."   
  
"Yeah," Willow admitted, as Tara giggled. "But only because it's really important," she explained. "There's this. . ."  
  
"No," Tara interrupted her. "You don't have to explain, I don't mind. Really!" Seeing the look of uncertainty on her face, she continued. "I've been, um, thinking about that last spell we did, all day. . ." she confessed, her smile widening.  
  
Willow felt her breath catch at Tara's words. "You have?" She burst out softly, meeting Tara's gaze head on. She couldn't help but feel pleased. She herself had been thinking about that night non-stop. Obviously, she wasn't the only one who'd been affected by it. . . She suddenly couldn't wait to do the next spell.  
  
Tara nodded, smiling. "Mmm." She locked her eyes with Willow's, her smile widening.  
  
Willow's voice unconsciously took on a flirtatious undertone. She grinned as she became even more exited. "Well this one should be really fun too. We conjure the goddess Thespia to help us locate demonic energy in the area. It shouldn't be too tricky," she finished off quickly.  
  
Tara felt her insides turn to ice, from fear of what Willow had just said. How could they possibly locate demonic energy without revealing her secret? She didn't want Willow to find out about her. . . about what her father had said existed inside her. She wasn't ready to say goodbye to her friend. She'd only just met the girl, and things between them were just starting to develop. . . how on earth could she risk loosing that. . ?   
  
"The goddess Thespia?" She asked, trying to explain her reserve. "Are you sure we're ready for that?  
  
"You and me?" Willow asked flirtatiously. "This is beneath us."  
  
Tara's mind was racing with conflicting emotions. She was floored by the way Willow was talking. . . the flirtatious tone of her voice, the sexy look in her eye, the way she smiled. . . it all left her feeling weak in the knees. She could also sense Willow's excitement about the spell, and it scared her. She couldn't refuse the girl without raising her suspicions, but if they did the spell, then her friend would find out. . . She needed to buy some time, maybe figure out a way to stop the spell without alerting Willow.  
  
"Okay," Tara finally agreed, forcing a smile. "If you say so. . ."  
  
Willow's smile widened. She looked deeper into Tara's eyes, unable to break eye contact. The girl was once again having a mesmerising effect on her. She just felt so connected to this blonde, and she had no idea how to control it. She wanted to reach over and pull Tara into her arms, to feel her soft body against hers, to inhale her sweet scent, and simply let loose. It wasn't just a sexual thing though, she wanted to show this girl some affection, and holding her close was the best way she could think of. Besides, all this was so new to her; she didn't even think she was ready for the sexual part of a gay relationship. Of course she wanted it, wanted Tara, but for right now, all she really needed was to be close to her, to show her how much their friendship was coming to mean to her.  
  
Tara just smiled back nervously. She was in no rush to start the spell, especially with the way Willow was looking at her. Tara wasn't blind. She'd noticed the subtle way Willow was flirting, and it thrilled her to no end. In fact, it made her all the more determined to hide her demon part. She couldn't risk losing her now, not when they were on the brink of something. . .  
  
Willow finally looked away, forcing herself to focus on the task at hand. She opened her bag, and moved to the corner of the room. "All the stuff we need's in here," she explained, pulling out the twine and the crystals. "And I've already gathered all the ingredients."  
  
"Cool," Tara replied, watching as the girl set up. She dropped her bag on the armchair, before arranging the twine into a square, placing a different type of crystal on each corner. She then took out a mortar and pestle, along with another bowl containing all the spell ingredients. "What do you want me to do?" Tara asked, eager to know about the spell. She figured the more she knew, the easier it would be to stop it from working.  
  
"Oh, you can learn your part of the incantation," Willow replied. She looked up at Tara and smiled. Reaching for her spell book, she opened it to the right page and handed it to her friend. "The passage is just here," she showed her. "You learn the first part, and I'll say the second part." She smiled again, as she met Tara's eyes. "OK?"  
  
Smiling softly, Tara accepted the book. "OK," she replied, sitting down near the square. She began reading the words, going over them in her head. She needed to make it look like she was actually going through with this. She couldn't let Willow suspect anything. She suddenly felt extremely guilty. Here she was, preparing to do a spell with the woman she loved, and all she could think about was how to sabotage it. She was a terrible person. Her father was right, she was a thing of evil. Only a person with evil in them would deceive someone like Willow. . . but she didn't know what else to do. She fell more and more in love with this girl every day, and watching her leave would destroy her. . . She forced herself to concentrate. Quickly memorising the incantation, Tara started to read about the spell, hoping to find out something that would help her. Before she could learn anything useful however, she was interrupted by Willow's question.  
  
"Do you have it?" Willow asked, bringing herself back to reality. She'd been looking at Tara for too long, admiring her features, losing herself in the girl's beauty. She loved the look on her face, it was one of pure concentration. Her brow was slightly furrowed, her eyes were focused, and she had this adorable way of chewing on her lower lip. . . it left her feeling entirely breathless. There was also a kind of naive innocence surrounding her, as if she was extremely vulnerable to all the pain of the outside world. . . and it made her feel. . . very protective. She wanted to embrace the girl, comfort her, protect her from everything, and let her know she was safe and cared about. . .   
  
"I...I, um, y...yes," Tara stuttered, her guilt getting the better of her. "I've got it," she finished, handing the book back.  
  
"Great." Willow smiled, reaching for the spell book. As she grabbed it, her fingers brushed up against Tara's, and she couldn't help gasping at the electricity. She felt a spark shoot right through her body, landing directly between her legs. She couldn't believe how turned on she was from a simple touch. No one had ever been able to do this to her. . . not Xander, not Oz. . . not anyone. . . at least not to this extent. . . It was just a touch, nothing sexual about it. . . so why did she suddenly feel like she wanted to reach out for this girl, take hold of her, kiss her hard, and taste every last inch of her? She met her friend's gaze, surprised to see the reaction wasn't one-sided.  
  
Tara had felt it too, the sudden spark. . . like the effect of their magicks. It had shot all the way down her body like a lightning bolt, eliciting a return of the throbbing sensation between her thighs. She was once again completely aroused, her body aching for Willow's . . . all from a simple touch. As she looked up at the girl, she was shocked to see her reaction mirrored. Willow's eyes were half closed, her pupils were dilated, and her breathing was slightly laboured. . . Could she possibly be feeling the same way. . ? Tara knew things had changed between them, but she hadn't dared to hope things had moved this far. . .  
  
The two witches gazed at each other for about a minute, lost in their feelings. They were aroused, blushing, and unable to move. They'd felt the sexual charge between them, yet they were both too scared, and too shy to do anything about it.   
  
Looking away, Willow turned her focus back onto the spell. She began grinding the ingredients, trying like crazy to get all the naughty thoughts out of her head. Staring into Tara's eyes, she'd had flashes of the two of them together. . . Their bodies naked, entwined. . . her lips on Tara's neck. . . on her breasts. . . her stomach. . . the inside of her thighs. . . between her legs. . . No, she told herself. Now was not the time for such thoughts. . . They had a spell to do!  
  
Tara was also having a hard time controlling her arousal. She couldn't tear her eyes away from the girl, thoughts about the two of them invading her senses. She could almost feel the girl's lips on her own. . . on her neck. . . suckling a nipple. . . kissing her stomach. . . moving between her thighs. . . tasting her essence. . . Tara forced herself to stop. She had no right to think about Willow like that. The girl deserved someone so much better than her. She deserved someone who wouldn't lie to her, someone who wasn't part demon. . . She suddenly realised that maybe this spell was for the best. If Willow found out the truth, she'd say goodbye to her, and end up finding someone who was really worthy of her. . . Although, as she looked over at Willow, Tara felt her resolve crumble. She was too weak to say goodbye. She needed Willow in her life, and if she had to lie to keep her there. . . then she had no choice but to do it!  
  
"So," Tara began, desperate to understand the spell. "The square is Sunnydale?"  
  
"Right," Willow replied, smiling up at Tara. She stopped grinding the ingredients, turning her focus towards Tara. "It's like a map," she explained, huskily. "And we both take different parts of the potion." She smiled at her friend then, unconsciously flirting with her. "And when we do the incantation, we both blow it onto the square at the exact same time." She breathed the last words out, unable to hide her excitement.  
  
Tara felt herself melt at Willow's words. The girl was so sexy. . . "But how does it work?" She forced herself to ask. She was becoming more and more frightened with every second. She needed to figure out a way to stop the spell, and fast. . . time was running out.  
  
"Well that's the cool part," Willow whispered, smiling flirtatiously at Tara. She knew she was flirting, but was unable to stop herself. The girl had this amazing affect on her, and just being in her presence brought out this sensuous side of her nature, a side she found impossible to control. "When the potion mixes, and Thespia's called. . ." She smiled again, her voice becoming husky from arousal and excitement. "It creates this mist, over the parts where the demons are." Pausing to take a breath, Willow grinned as she stumbled over the last few words. "I...It even makes different colours for different breeds."  
  
"Wow!" Tara was stunned. Every time Willow talked about a spell, she did so flirtatiously, and it always aroused her, but this time was different. . . The way Willow was gazing at her, smiling, flirting. . . the tone of her voice, the look in her eye. . . She was now almost positive Willow had feelings for her, and that made her even more determined to stop the spell.  
  
"You ready?" Willow asked, enjoying the effect her words had on Tara. The girl was looking at her in amazement. . . and possibly arousal. She couldn't be too sure about the last thought, but the way she'd whispered her response, the soft tone of her voice, and the way her breathing had become shallow. . . it definitely hinted at something. . .  
  
All Tara could do was nod and smile. She was in no way ready to do the spell. In fact, she was scared to death. . . but what choice did she have? Reaching out her palm to Willow, she watched as the girl poured the potion into her hand. Looking at the powder in her palm, she suddenly got an idea. This was the crux of the spell. . . If she could somehow get rid of the powder. . . then it couldn't mix and reveal the location of demonic energy. . .  
  
Willow reached for the other bowl, exited about the spell. She poured the powder into her own hand, then smiled sexily at Tara. "Lets do it," she flirted, closing her eyes.  
  
Taking a deep breath, Tara closed her eyes as well, reciting the incantation. "Thespia, we walk in shadow. Walk in blindness. You are the protector of the night."  
  
As the girl finished up, Willow couldn't help but enjoy the way her words had sounded. Tara had the softest, most beautiful voice she had ever heard. . . The way she'd recited the spell had been heaven, without a hint of a stutter. . . not that she didn't enjoy the girl's stutter. . . she found every part of this girl enjoyable. Reminding herself to focus, she began her part of the incantation. "Thespia, goddess, ruler of all darkness, we implore you. . . open a window to the world of the underbeing."  
  
Tara's heart beat faster as Willow recited the spell, she needed to get rid of the potion, and soon. When she heard Willow blow on her own powder, she knew it was time. Blowing carefully over her hand, she made certain its contents were still intact. Knowing that Willow had her eyes closed, she reached for her bed, dropping the powder underneath it. Quickly, she moved back in place, waving her hand over the square, in case Willow opened her eyes. Luckily the girl was still focused on the spell.  
  
"With your knowledge may we go in safety," Willow recited, finishing off the incantation. "With your grace may we speak of your benevolence." She opened her eyes, eager to see the effects of the spell. "Or not," she let out in confusion. She frowned at the sight of the empty square, no lights, and no pretty colours. . . only scattered powder. She looked up at Tara, sharing her disappointment and confusion. She'd been certain the spell would work. . . everything they did together had ten times more power then working alone. Apart from the rose fiasco, every spell they'd done had been a complete success.  
  
Tara was ecstatic. She'd pulled it off. . . the spell had been foiled. . . and Willow would never know her secret. She felt like a huge weight had been lifted off her shoulders. She wanted to leap up and jump for joy, instead, she looked over at Willow, feigning a look of disappointment. She wasn't completely out of the woods yet. . . Willow was bound to be wondering why the spell had failed. Hopefully she wouldn't suspect her. . .  
  
Looking back down at their failure, Willow suddenly became angry. "Damn it!" She cursed. Why did this have to happen now? She had so desperately wanted to prove herself to the gang. . . show them she was worthy. They were always going on about how careful she had to be, how she wasn't ready for the more advance spells. . . Finding the Polgara demon would've shown them exactly how powerful she was getting. . . Well, how powerful she was with Tara anyway. The two of them made the perfect team, their energies mingling, helping each other to achieve their full potential. . . She sighed again, cursing herself, and her own ineptness. . . She probably hadn't mixed the ingredients correctly. . . or maybe even got some of them wrong. . . "Damn it!" She cursed again, suddenly remembering the kid. She was a terrible person. . . thinking about her own failure, when that demon was still out there, ready and able to hurt anyone. . . "That poor boy," she frowned at the thought.  
  
Tara was a little surprised by Willow's reaction, by the evident importance of the spell. She'd known the girl would be upset, but she hadn't thought she'd be so. . . angry. Tara was suddenly shocked to realise she wasn't frightened. . . whenever her dad or Donnie got angry, she'd learned early on that she had every reason to be afraid. In fact, they'd instilled it into her so clearly, that whenever anyone got angry, no matter who they were, or why they were angry, she became terrified. With Willow however, something was different. . . It was as if some part of her knew that deep down, no matter how angry or upset she was, Willow could be trusted. This made her feel even guiltier for deceiving her. . .  
  
"What boy?" Tara asked in confusion, recalling the girl's final words. What did a boy have to do with the success of their spell?  
  
Willow smiled, letting Tara's voice centre her emotions. She suddenly realised how her outburst must've sounded. . . Poor Tara, she probably thought she was dealing with a lunatic. . . "I'm sorry," she let out, meeting the girl's eyes. "I didn't mean to overreact like that. . ."  
  
"That's OK," Tara reassured with a smile. She was happy to see Willow had calmed down. Was it possible to love someone so completely so quickly? There was definitely something special about Willow. . . Tara suddenly felt the pang of guilt return. As much as she loved this girl, she hated herself ten times more. How could she have deceived her, made her feel angry with herself? She was the one Willow should be angry with. . . Forcing her mind to think about something else, she suddenly recalled her earlier statement. "But w...what's this about a b...boy?" She asked, feeling confused again.  
  
"Oh," Willow began, smiling at her friend. "This little boy was um, ripped apart by a Polgara demon."  
  
"What?" Tara whispered, a feeling of dread building up in her stomach. She was beginning to realise why Willow had wanted to do the spell, and her actions suddenly took on a whole new meaning. . .  
  
"Yeah, it was on the news this morning," Willow explained. "This poor kid was playing in the park, couldn't have been more than about 8 or 9, maybe 10 years old. . ."  
  
"And you w...w...wanted to do the spell so we c...could find the demon. . ." Tara stuttered, feeling nauseous. ". . .And then your f...friend Buffy could slay it . . ?"  
  
"Yeah," Willow smiled, happy with the girl's intuitiveness. "But now. . ."  
  
"Oh no," Tara suddenly burst into tears, unable to control them as she hunched over. She felt so bad about what she'd done, especially considering Willow's noble intentions. The girl wanted to protect the world, make sure no one got hurt. . . and what did she do, she sabotaged the spell? How could she be so evil. . . she not only upset Willow, but made it so that more people could get hurt. She'd never hated herself more than at this very moment. . . hated who she was, what she was capable of. . . She really was evil. . . the worst kind. . . the deceitful, petty, selfish kind. Oh how could she have done this. . ?  
  
Willow couldn't bare to see her friend in pain. Feeling tears of empathy well up in her own eyes, she moved to kneel in front of Tara, placing her hands on the girl's shoulders. She wanted desperately to comfort her, to let her know everything was all right. She didn't know why the girl was so upset, but she figured, it probably had to do with what she'd just told her. Tara must be upset over the boy's death, and like her, she probably blamed herself for the failed spell. Willow's heart suddenly went out to the girl, realising what a gentle nature she must have. . . to care about things so deeply.  
  
"Tara," she whispered, enfolding the girl in her arms. She wanted to hold her, to protect her, and make all her pain go away. She couldn't stand seeing her like this. Tightening her hold on the girl, she began stroking her hair, soothing her as she cried on her shoulder. Willow's other hand began moving in slow circles against her back, gently calming the girl. "It's okay," she whispered, her breath catching when she felt Tara's arms tighten around her. "It's okay," she whispered again. Breathing deep, she inhaled the girl's scent, losing herself in the softness of her body, enjoying the feel of her hands against her back, revelling in the way her breasts were crushed up against hers. . . No, she needed to focus, to put away the sexual thoughts. This was about comforting Tara, the girl was upset and needed to be calmed. . . not seduced.  
  
Tara simply let herself collapse into Willow's arms. She didn't deserve to be comforted, but she couldn't help it. She felt so guilty over her actions, she just wanted to die. All she could do was let the tears come, and as she wrapped herself around Willow, she let herself take comfort in the girl. She could feel herself begin to relax as Willow's hand stroked her hair, softly whispering into her ear "It's okay." Everything was not okay though, she'd done a terrible thing. . . how could it possibly be okay? She sobbed even harder, her feelings of guilt increasing. She had no right to even be in the same room as Willow, let alone to be holding her this close, inhaling the fruity scent of her shampoo. . . enjoying the way Willow's hands circled against her back. . . the way her breasts felt against her. . . how good it felt to hold her so close, to be held by her. . . She started to pull away, but Willow wouldn't let her. She felt the girl's hands come up to her face, locking their eyes together.  
  
"Tara," Willow whispered, her hands cupping Tara's cheeks. She wasn't ready to let the girl go, not when she was in so much pain. She met the girl's eyes, seeing the hurt and the tears, bringing more tears of her own. Overcome with emotion, she leaned in and pressed her lips against Tara's forehead, kissing her for a long time. Closing her eyes, she let her lips linger as she took in the feel of Tara's skin, unable to break away. She wanted to calm her, to let her know she wasn't at fault. Unconsciously, she began releasing some of her energy, letting it flow through her lips and into Tara. . . her need to comfort the girl was so great, it had invoked some hidden power inside her, responding to her will. . .  
  
Tara could feel the energy, could feel herself becoming more and more relaxed. The way Willow's lips felt against her skin was like magick. . . The calm emanating from her was so powerful, she couldn't help but be affected by it. She could feel all her guilt disappearing, dissolving away into nothingness. . . It was incredible, she'd never felt so peaceful in her entire life. . . as if nothing in the world mattered except for the girl in front of her. . .   
  
Willow could feel Tara relaxing, could practically sense the calm as it surrounded her. Suddenly she realised the calm was coming from her. . . It was as if her own energy was being projected onto her friend. Willow had no idea she could even do that. . . soothe someone so completely with her power. It had to be Tara, she realised. The feelings she had for this girl were so strong. . . and the way they always managed to connect with their magicks. . . No wonder she could reach out to her in this way.  
  
As she felt the girl's tears subside, Willow opened her eyes, slowly pulling her lips away. She was unable to move far however, her hands remaining on the girl's cheeks, as her forehead fell down to rest against Tara's. She closed her eyes again, too worn out to move. . . having just given most of her energy to Tara. She could feel the girl's breath against her lips, mingling with her own as they sat there, both recovering from what had just happened. After a while, Willow could feel her strength returning to her. Slowly, she lifted her head to look into Tara's eyes, her hands still cupping her face.  
  
Tara looked up at Willow and smiled, still feeling the effects of the girl's energy. She couldn't believe what Willow had done. . . the way she'd held her. . . kissed her. . . infused her with her own energy. She was truly amazing. "Thank you," she whispered, her voice husky from the intensity of the whole situation. She suddenly felt her breath catch, as Willow began tracing her thumbs against her cheekbones. Tara closed her eyes, losing herself in the sensation of Willow's caress. "That was. . .amazing," she managed to gasp out between breaths. "I...I never knew you could do that."  
  
Willow smiled at the girl's reaction, enjoying the feel of her soft skin. She couldn't tear her hands away, unable to break contact. "Me neither," she replied.  
  
Tara forced her eyes open, meeting Willow's gaze. "Really?"   
  
Willow moved her hands downwards, her fingers brushing against the girl's neck as they reached for her shoulders, pausing briefly before caressing her arms. "Yeah, I've never done that before," she whispered, linking their hands together. "You must've brought it out of me. . ."  
  
Tara squeezed Willow's hands as she smiled. She was at a complete loss for words. In fact, she couldn't speak even if she wanted to. The girl had disarmed her entirely, brought her to a place where she felt calm and relaxed, yet totally aroused. She belonged to her completely. This girl owned her heart and soul, and even her body, if she wanted it. . . Never in her life had she felt like this, as if she wanted to give her entire life over to someone else.  
  
Willow smiled back, her eyes never leaving Tara's. She still couldn't believe what had happened. . . the way they'd just connected. She'd poured her energy into this girl as she'd kissed her, no thought in her mind except to comfort her. How was it possible for her to do that. . ? Looking at the girl now, she could tell it had really affected her. The look in her eye was one of complete adoration, and something else Willow couldn't quite make out. She realised their relationship had once again shifted, moved into an even greyer area than it had from the other night.  
  
"I should go," Willow breathed out, suddenly remembering why she'd come here in the first place.  
  
Tara nodded, still unable to speak. She didn't want to let Willow go, but realised why she had to.  
  
"I gotta let the gang know the spell didn't work," Willow explained. She moved to get up, but her body wasn't responding, preferring to stay here with her friend, their hands linked together.  
  
"OK," Tara whispered, her motor skills finally returning to her.  
  
Willow still made no move to get up. "OK," she returned, emotions making her voice sound all husky.  
  
The two witches sat there like statues, their eyes locked together, neither willing nor able to move. They were both overwhelmed by their mutual attraction, still buzzed from the exchange of energy. All thoughts had left their brains as they gazed deeper and deeper into each other's eyes. Suddenly, as of one mind, they realised what they were doing. Bursting into nervous giggles, they broke away from each other, unlinking their hands. Tara helped Willow gather up all her stuff, placing everything back into the girl's black bag of magicks.  
  
"Thanks," Willow let out once everything had been packed up.   
  
Tara smiled, her eyes lifting to meet her friend's. "It's okay."  
  
Placing the bag over her shoulder, Willow moved towards Tara, feeling bad that she had to go. She needed to make sure the girl was all right before she left. . . she didn't want to leave Tara, only to have her burst into tears again. She knew her energy had calmed her, but she had no idea how long that would last.  
  
Willow reached out for Tara, once again joining their hands together. "Will you be okay?" she asked, moving into babble mode. "If you want, I can stay a little longer, I mean, they probably need me back at Xander's, and I should really tell them about the spell, but if you're still upset, I can stick around. . . maybe I could just call them, let them know about the spell. . . cause I wouldn't wanna leave you if you're all upset or anything. . ."  
  
"Will," Tara smiled, using the nickname for the first time. She squeezed the girl's hands affectionately. "I'll be fine," she reassured softly, locking her eyes with Willow's. "I mean, I...I'd love for you to stay, but I understand w...why you have to go. You need to find that thing. . . I get it. I...I don't wanna hold you back. . ."  
  
"You're not holding me back," Willow was quick to reply. "I. . ."  
  
"I get it," Tara repeated. "I'm just sorry the spell didn't work."  
  
"It wasn't your fault," Willow pointed out. "You did everything right."  
  
Tara began to feel some of her guilt returning. She hadn't done everything right. . . she'd sabotaged the spell. . . hidden her secret from Willow.  
  
Sensing the girl's shift in mood, Willow squeezed Tara's hands. "No!" She exclaimed. "Not again."  
  
"But. . ." Tara objected, her guilt overpowering her.  
  
"No!" Willow repeated. "It doesn't matter why it didn't work. It happens all the time. . . it's not like it's the first spell I've messed up."  
  
Tara felt even worse now, guilty for making her friend think she was at fault. "It's not. . ."  
  
"Hey, listen," Willow intercepted. "We've been doing this for like four years now, hunting demons and stuff. We always find a way to get them. I'll go back to Xander's, we'll do some more research, and find another way to track this thing. Besides, who knows, Buffy might've found it by now anyway."  
  
"What do you mean?" Tara asked, her mind buzzing with hope.  
  
Willow smiled, wanting to put Tara at ease. "Well, she'd gone off to the crime scene this morning to check things out. She's probably sensed it with her Slayer abilities. . . or if not, maybe she's gone and beaten up Willie the snitch a few times for information."  
  
Tara was happy to hear there were other ways of tracking it, but who was this Willie guy? "Willie the snitch?" She asked.  
  
Willow chuckled, realising she needed to explain things properly. "He's this guy who runs a demon bar. He's human, but he caters to demons and stuff. . . so he's usually information guy. . . for a price of course."  
  
"Price?" Tara asked, beginning to get the picture.  
  
"Yeah," Willow giggled, attempting a joke. "Not getting too beat up."  
  
Tara chuckled, enjoying her friend's humour. "Oh."  
  
"So you see, everything will be fine," Willow smiled, unconsciously moving closer to Tara  
  
"Fine?" Tara asked, her breath catching at Willow's proximity. She was now less than an inch away from her friend, practically within kissing distance.   
  
"Yeah," Willow whispered. She suddenly realised what she was doing. As they'd been talking, her gaze had drifted from the girl's eyes to her lips, feeling the need to capture them with her own. Apparently she'd been moving towards Tara with every sentence, bringing her that much closer to a kiss. It took every ounce of determination she had not to taste the sweetness before her. She wanted it desperately, but now was not the time. She wanted their first kiss to be special, meaningful, something they both wanted. She knew Tara had feelings for her, she'd realised that the other night, but some insecure part of her was still a little unsure. She needed to be certain of Tara's intentions. . . needed some confirmation from the girl that she was interested. She didn't know what she'd do if the girl rejected her. . . she was still recovering from Oz's betrayal, and needed to protect herself somehow. If she kissed the girl now, she couldn't be sure if it was what Tara wanted, or if she was still affected by the energy she'd just given her, and she didn't want to do anything to ruin their friendship.   
  
Willow snapped herself back to reality, dragging her eyes back up towards Tara's. "There's more than one way to catch a demon. . ." She joked, needing to lighten the mood.  
  
Tara giggled, thinking how adorable Willow was. "Right."  
  
"Good," Willow replied, a grin brightening her face. "Now, I really should go. . ." She began moving towards the door, her eyes locked with Tara's, their hands still clasped together. "But I'll call you as soon as we know something," she reassured. "OK?"  
  
Tara nodded as they reached the door, feeling the sexual tension between them. She'd sensed Willow's need a moment ago, realising the girl had wanted to kiss her. She wondered why she hadn't, hoping it wasn't because the girl had freaked. She knew Willow had always been interested in boys, that she was probably still in love with her ex-boyfriend. . . but the other night had given her hope. Willow had opened up to her, let her know that she wasn't totally straight, that she'd had thoughts about. . .What? Willow hadn't actually told her outright she'd thought about girls that way, but the way she'd held her in bed. . . and just now with the hug. . . the kiss. . .and the look of arousal in her eye when the spark had gone through them. . . It all left her feeling totally confused. Her thoughts were a mess, she was so scared of misreading things, of assuming something that wasn't there. . . scared of being rejected by Willow. . . of never knowing what the girl's touch would be like. She was so in love with the girl that it was tearing her apart inside.  
  
Willow could sense the girl's turbulent emotions. "Are you sure you're okay?" She asked, bringing a hand up to cup her cheek. "If you want me to stay a little longer. . ."  
  
Tara felt herself relax at Willow's touch. The girl's hand against her cheek felt like heaven. If this was all she could expect form Willow. . . then who cares why the girl didn't want to kiss her. . ? Well, she did care, but maybe she was rushing things. Willow had never been in a gay relationship, it was all new to her, and she obviously needed some time to get used to the idea of it. . .That's probably what had happened. . .the girl just wasn't ready to deal with it just yet, and she for one wasn't going to push it. Even if the girl never made a move, she'd have to accept it. She'd love her from afar if she had to, just as long as she could be a part of her life.  
  
She smiled, bringing her hand up against Willow's. "I'm fine Willow." She pressed the girl's hand to her cheek, reassuring her, before releasing it. "I'm fine."  
  
Comforted by the girl's tone, Willow smiled. "Good!" She unlinked her hand from Tara's, snaking it around her waist. She let her other hand move down from her cheek, to around her neck, bringing her friend into a hug. Feeling Tara's arms wrap around her own body, she pressed herself tighter against the girl, holding her close. She just loved the feel of Tara's body against hers, it made her feel safe somehow. She rested her head against the girl's shoulder, her lips almost touching the exposed skin of her neck. She closed her eyes as she let the sensation of the hug envelop her. She could also feel the girl's heartbeat against her chest. Smiling, she realised it was just as erratic as hers.  
  
Tara closed her eyes as Willow brought their bodies together. Breathing deep, she tightened her arms around Willow, needing to feel every inch of the girl's body. She could feel the girl's breath against her neck, and her breathing was becoming more and more laboured, as she took in the sensation of being held by Willow. Her nipples were hardening against the girl's, her arms were wrapped tightly around her, and as her own head dropped to Willow's shoulder, she felt like her legs were about to give way underneath her. She increased her grip on Willow, letting the girl support her weight, feeling like she never wanted to let her go.  
  
The two girl's were reluctant to end the hug. Both were content to hold on to each other, to enjoy the sensation, the intimacy, of their bodies so close together. Neither was ready to take the next step in their relationship. . . to make the first move, so this hug was the only safe way to release their emotions. They both wanted desperately to be close to each other. . . to hold each other. . . to kiss each other. . . to make love to each other, but shyness and insecurity made all that impossible.  
  
After a couple of minutes had passed, Willow began to regain focus. Her eyes still closed, she lifted her head, turning to place a soft kiss against the girl's cheek. She let her lips linger against Tara's skin, savouring the sensation. Her need for the girl was so great, she took every chance she got to be close to her. "I'll speak to you soon," she whispered as she moved away, releasing the girl from her hold.  
  
"OK," Tara whispered back, her face flushed. Holding Willow had aroused her completely, but the feel of her kiss had left her feeling feint. It was all she could do to stand up on her own. She smiled at Willow as she watched her turn to leave.  
  
Willow turned around as she opened the door, a sudden thought hitting her. "Will you be in all day?" She asked, not wanting to speak to a machine again.  
  
Tara smiled as she answered. "I have a class in an hour, but I should be home after that."  
  
"Great," Willow replied, turning to leave.  
  
"Oh wait," Tara burst out, getting an idea. She rushed to her desk, searching around for something. After a few seconds, she came across what she was after. Walking back to Willow, she handed it to the girl.  
  
"What's this?" Willow asked, looking down at the folded piece of paper.  
  
"It's a copy of my schedule," Tara explained shyly. "I...I thought it would be useful. . . in case you ever w...wanted to c...call, or come by. . ."  
  
Willow smiled at the girl's thoughtfulness. "That's great."  
  
Tara smiled back at Willow, her heart racing. "I don't go out m...much," she explained. "So w...whenever I don't have class, I'm usually here."  
  
"I'll remember that," Willow replied "Thanks." Putting the paper in her pocket, she felt a sudden wave of affection hit her. Unwilling to control it, she took a step towards Tara, and placed a quick kiss against her cheek. As she pulled back, she grabbed her hand for a second, squeezing it gently before releasing it. With a smile, she walked out the door, leaving her friend to close it behind her.  
  
  
***  
  
  
Willow was stunned by what Buffy had just told them. She'd just relayed the events of her encounter with Riley, the Initiative, and Adam. "So, what are you going to do?" She asked.  
  
"Patrol," Buffy replied, reaching for her stake.  
  
"I meant the whole Riley thing?" Willow returned.  
  
Buffy smiled at her friend. "There's not much I can do," she explained. "But if I patrol for Adam, hopefully I'll get in a few good slayings as well."  
  
"Take your mind off it. . ." Willow smiled knowingly. "You sure you don't wanna talk though?" She felt the need to ask, wanting to be there for her friend.  
  
"Maybe tomorrow," Buffy replied, heading towards the stairs. "Before class or something. . . right now I need to kill things." With that, she rushed out of Xander's basement, eager to begin the slaying.  
  
Willow turned towards Xander, sharing a look of understanding.  
  
"That's our Bufster," Xander quipped. "Better to kill, than to deal."  
  
Willow chuckled. Looking around the room, she suddenly realised something. "Where's Anya?" She'd become used to seeing them practically joined at the hip.  
  
"Oh," Xander replied. "She didn't want to spend another night listening to Giles squeak in his beach ball."  
  
"I resent that," Giles called out over his tea.  
  
"But what about the, you know, hiding out?" Willow asked.  
  
"The Initiative doesn't know where she lives," Xander explained. "So she figured she'd be safe in her apartment."  
  
Willow suddenly got an idea. She too wasn't exactly keen on spending another night at Xander's, especially if she could be curled up beside Tara. What better place to hide out. . . no one knew about Tara, she was her little secret, one she'd shared with no one. She didn't know if it was fair of her to impose, but if she asked nicely, she was sure Tara would let her stay over. . . or so she hoped. She needed to ask her, but the phone was too close to Xander. . . maybe she could just come over, try her luck. "I don't think I'll stick around tonight either."  
  
"What do you mean?" Xander asked. "I thought we agreed it still wasn't safe for us to go back, at least for a few days."  
  
"Xander's right," Giles interceded. "We still don't know if we're being hunted or not. And now with Adam running loose, we need to be extra careful."  
  
"I know," Willow reassured. "It's just I...I've got this, uh. . . assignment due this week. . .for chem lab. . ." She stammered, racking her brain for a good cover story  
  
"What's that gotta do with hiding out?" Xander interrupted in confusion.  
  
"I just thought it would be easier if I, uh. . . stayed with my lab partner," she finished off. "We'll be working late most nights, so I'm sure she wouldn't mind. . ."  
  
"If that means I get the bed," Giles began, suddenly feeling better. "Then I see no reason why you couldn't stay with your friend."  
  
"Yeah," Willow smiled, pleased to see they bought her story.   
  
"Sure, " Xander conceded, turning towards Giles. "Take the bed."  
  
"Unless Buffy comes back early from patrolling. . ." Willow pointed out.  
  
"I doubt it," Xander replied. "She was all with the I-Wanna-Slay attitude. I think she'll be pulling an all nighter."  
  
"Speaking of which," Willow began, her need to see Tara getting the better of her. "I should really get going. . ." With those words, she walked to her overnight bag. Grabbing it, she scanned the room for any more of her stuff, noticing only her stuffed puppy dog. Picking it up, she figured she could drop it back at the dorm before heading to Tara's. She loved to snuggle up to it, but tonight she'd have something better. . . she hoped.  
  
  
***  
  
  
Tara looked at her phone for like the millionth time. After getting back from her afternoon class, she'd been unable to focus on anything, but what had gone down between her and Willow. She was anxious to hear from the girl, desperate to know if they'd found the demon. Although her guilt had been lessened by Willow's words. . . and her energy, it hadn't disappeared completely. She was about to go back to her math assignment, when a knock at the door startled her. Willow, was the first thought that entered her mind. She practically stumbled out of her chair in her haste to answer the door.  
  
"Hey," Willow greeted, a big grin on her face. "I uh, brought dinner," she explained, holding up a pizza box. "You haven't eaten yet. . . have you?" She asked, nervously.  
  
Tara shook her head, words escaping her for the moment. She couldn't believe Willow was here, with dinner. . . "N...no," she eventually stammered out. "Not since breakfast." She stepped aside to let the girl in, suddenly noticing the large bag strapped over her shoulder. Closing the door behind her, she turned around to face Willow. She looked down to where the girl had dumped the bag, then back up to Willow, a questioning look on her face.  
  
Willow noticed Tara's look, realising she had to explain. With a sheepish grin, she held up the pizza box again. "I guess you caught me," she began. "Dinner's a bit of a bribe. . ."  
  
Tara looked at Willow in confusion, having no idea what the girl was going on about. "What do you mean?" She asked.  
  
"Ah. . ." Suddenly nervous, Willow was reluctant to explain. Avoiding the question, she placed the box on the girl's bed, before opening it. Grabbing some napkins from her pocket, she picked up a slice and offered it up to Tara. "Wanna piece?" She asked, smiling flirtatiously. "It's pepperoni and mushroom."  
  
Figuring Willow would explain in her own time, Tara decided not to push the issue. "Okay," she replied, grabbing the slice. How could she refuse the girl when she looked at her that way. . ? Bringing the food to her mouth, she bit into it hungrily. She suddenly realised how hungry she actually was, being so caught up in her thoughts, she'd forgotten to eat all day.   
  
Willow gasped as Tara took her first taste. Watching Tara bite into the pizza had sent a rush of immeasurable arousal right through her whole body. The girl was obviously hungry, and the way her lips devoured the food was incredibly sexy. . . hinting at a hidden passion that was yet to be explored. . . She was unable to drag her eyes away, mesmerised as Tara finished off the slice in less than a minute.  
  
Tara looked up at Willow as she finished the food, wiping her mouth and fingers with a napkin. She noticed the girl staring at her, a look in her eye she couldn't quite recognize. She was suddenly embarrassed, realising how quickly she'd eaten the pizza. . . What must Willow be thinking of her? "I'm sorry," she let out, her eyes going to the floor. "I g...guess I was hungrier than I...I thought. . ."  
  
"That's okay," Willow reassured with a smile. Grabbing another slice, she offered it to Tara. "Here, have another." She couldn't wait to watch the girl eat again.  
  
Feeling shy, Tara shook her head. "I...I couldn't," she protested.  
  
"No, really," Willow insisted, moving closer to the girl.   
  
Looking at her friend, Tara suddenly felt a lot better. Willow had this huge grin on her face as she held out the pizza.  
  
"Take it," Willow offered again.  
  
Smiling, she accepted the pizza, her hunger winning over her shyness. "Thanks." Taking a bite, she decided to take it slow this time. As she chewed the food, she looked up to see Willow was staring again. "Aren't you gonna have any?" She asked, feeling slightly uncomfortable to be the only one eating.  
  
Dragging her eyes away from Tara, Willow chuckled. "Oh yeah," she replied, reaching for a slice. "Sure." Taking a bite, she moved to sit down on the bed. She looked up at Tara, her breath catching at the sight of the girl's tongue, darting out to lick some sauce off her lips. She suddenly wondered what it would feel like to have that tongue lick her own lips. . . her neck. . . her breasts. . .the spot between her legs, which was right now throbbing with need. . . She forced her mind to behave. If she wasn't careful, she was sure the girl would notice the effect she was having on her. Her good intentions fell through however, as Tara closed her eyes. The girl had the most sensuous look on her face as she chewed her food, a look she imagined only paled to the way she'd appear, writhing in ecstasy under the ministrations of her touch. . .  
  
Following Willow's lead, Tara had joined her friend on the bed. "So, what's going on?" She asked. Tara was happy to let Willow be secretive, but her curiosity was getting the better of her. Taking another bite, she closed her eyes as she savoured the flavour, not wanting to rush like before. After a moment, she looked up at Willow expectantly, wondering why she hadn't answered. The girl was staring at her again, her mouth half open. She was becoming unnerved by the look in Willow's eye, it was almost as if she was . . . aroused. Tara was stunned by the sudden realisation.   
  
"Um, Will. . ." She began, her face turning bright red. She was extremely embarrassed to be the object of this girl's desire. . . if in fact she really was. . . why would anyone be attracted to her. . .? She couldn't be sure she was reading the girl's reaction properly, but the way Willow was breathing. . . the glazed look in her eye. . .well, there was no other way to account for it. . . She could feel her heart racing, as her own desire started to mount. The very thought that Willow might be attracted to her, was enough to send her emotions spiralling. She could only imagine what the girl was thinking, but if it was anything like her own thoughts. . . then wow!  
  
"A...are you okay?" Tara asked, afraid to let Willow lose herself in the moment. Recalling the way she'd stopped from kissing her earlier, she knew that even if Willow was attracted to her, she probably wasn't ready to do anything about it. She realised she needed to give the girl time to adjust to the thoughts she was having. If you've been attracted to boys your whole life, it must be difficult to deal with the idea of being attracted to a girl. . . and Tara wanted to give Willow as much time and space as she needed. She didn't want the girl to regret anything. . . and she would if she acted without thinking. . . in the heat of the moment. She loved the girl too much to put her through that, no matter how insistent her own desire was.  
  
"What?" Willow asked, shaking her head at Tara's question. The girl's voice had brought her out of her trance, and she was suddenly feeling very embarrassed about her reaction. She just couldn't control herself. The sight of the girl enjoying the pizza had caught her completely off guard. She never knew the girl had such a sensuous side to her. . .  
  
"Are you okay?" Tara repeated.  
  
"Oh, yeah," Willow replied. "I'm fine." Seeing the look of uncertainty in the girl's eye, she felt it necessary to continue. "Really, I uh. . .just got lost in thought. . . that's all."  
  
Tara smiled, happy to leave it at that. She had no intention of confronting the girl over her reaction, she just wanted her to relax. "Good."  
  
Willow returned the smile, glad to see the girl hadn't noticed the effect she'd had on her. Remembering the pizza in her hand, she decided it was safer to eat than to stare. . .  
  
As Tara watched Willow devour her food, she suddenly realised why the girl had been so aroused. Watching someone eat pizza could be the most sensuous experience of your life. If she'd even looked half as sexy as Willow while eating, no wonder the girl had been affected. Willow's tongue was amazing. . . curling itself around the cheese. . .licking at the sauce dripping down her hand. . . her lips closing over the pizza as she took it into her mouth. . . her tongue darting out to lick her lips, lapping up the remaining sauce. She quickly turned her attention back to her own food, realising it was too dangerous to watch the girl eat. If she indulged herself a moment longer, she'd be unable to stop herself from tasting Willow's lips. . . from feeling first hand the effects of the girl's tongue. . .  
  
"So," Tara burst out, pushing the thoughts out of her head. "What did you mean when you said the p...pizza was a bribe?" She looked at Willow as she finished off the slice.  
  
Polishing off her own piece, Willow grabbed another one, and motioned for Tara to do the same. She smiled when Tara complied, glad to see the girl had relaxed a bit. Taking a bite, she figured it was time to explain. "It's a long story. . ." Willow began.  
  
"Isn't it always?" Tara returned, smiling at her friend.  
  
"Yeah," she giggled. "I guess it is."  
  
Tara continued eating as she waited for the girl to proceed. She was looking forward to Willow's explanation, curious about the bag, about why she was here, and about what happened with the demon. She still hadn't forgiven herself for ruining the spell, and probably never would until the demon was dead.  
  
Smiling devilishly, Willow took her time. . . choosing to finish the pizza before she began. She knew Tara was eager to know what was going on, which suddenly brought out her playful side, making her feel like teasing the girl, forcing her to wait just a little bit longer for what she wanted. . . Deciding she was thirsty, Willow stood up and walked to her bag. Taking out a couple of Cokes, she walked back to the bed and offered one to Tara. "Thirsty?" She asked.  
  
Tara smiled as she accepted the drink. "Thanks."  
  
"No problem," Willow replied. She opened the can, bringing it to her lips.   
  
Tara smiled as she watched her friend drink. Willow was teasing her she realised, prolonging things on purpose. She found this playful side of her friend's nature kind of intriguing. It made her wonder if she'd be like this as a lover. . . teasing her. . . making her wait. . . bringing her to the brink of ecstasy over and over again, until she couldn't take it any longer. . . and then giving her exactly what she wanted, the wait making the release that much sweeter. . .Popping open her own can, Tara took a long sip. She needed to cool herself down. . . to keep the sexual thoughts at bay.  
  
Grabbing the last slice of pizza, Willow looked at her friend, deciding she'd made her wait long enough. "I guess I'll start with what happened when I left your room the other morning."  
  
"OK," Tara replied, picking up the empty box. She got up and placed it next to her bin, before returning to the bed. Making herself comfortable, she smiled at Willow, silently asking her to continue.  
  
"Well," Willow began, entering her patented babble mode. "When I got home that morning, I saw Buffy briefly before she was called in to the Initiative. They had this mission for her. . . which I'll tell you about in a minute. . . But anyway, as soon as she left, I got a call from Giles, he'd been calling all morning. The whole gang was at his place, and they wanted me to do a spell for them. . .it turns out that Spike, the vampire with a chip I told you about, got shot by the Initiative. They'd been hunting him down, and when they came across him, they tagged him with a tracer. . . So he'd gone to Giles, looking for help. He figured we'd help him, since he helped Giles when he was turned into a demon. . .Well, that's were I come in. They wanted me to do a de-ionising spell, to disrupt the tracer's signal. . . give Giles enough time to get it out before the Initiative found us."  
  
She smiled at Tara then, taking a necessary breather. "I have you to thank for the spell's success actually."  
  
"What do you mean?" Tara asked softly, returning the smile.  
  
"Well," Willow explained. "If it wasn't for the Doll's-Eye Crystal you gave me, I probably wouldn't have pulled it off."  
  
Tara smiled at Willow's words. "You used the crystal?" She asked softly, warmed by the idea.  
  
"Yeah," Willow returned. She looked into Tara's eyes, sharing a quiet moment. "Anyway," she continued, not wanting to become too distracted. "Just as we got it out, Buffy returned."  
  
"From her mission?" Tara asked, letting Willow know she was paying attention.  
  
"Yeah," Willow let out. "Her suicide mission."  
  
Tara was a little surprised by Willow's words. "What?" She asked.  
  
Willow began her explanation. "It turns out that Professor Walsh. . . one of the major scientists working for the Initiative. . . wanted Buffy dead. . . Buffy was asking too many questions, getting too close to 314. . . Adam, but I'll explain that later."  
  
"Oh," Tara whispered, slowly taking in what Willow was saying.  
  
"Yeah, " Willow continued her explanation. "So she gave Buffy a faulty weapon, and trapped her in the sewers with two demons. . . luckily she underestimated what a Slayer was capable of."  
  
"So, Buffy killed them?" Tara asked, immersed in the story.  
  
"Yeah," Willow grinned. "She kicked some demon ass."  
  
Tara giggled at Willow's words, finding her sassy talk adorable.  
  
Willow enjoyed Tara's reaction, feeling good about the fact she could make the girl laugh. "And that's when Riley came in."  
  
"He's part of the Initiative right?" Tara asked. She remembered what Willow had told her the other day.  
  
"Yeah," she smiled. "Professor Walsh had just told him Buffy was dead, when he saw her on the com screen. . . alive and pissed off at Professor Walsh for trying to kill her."  
  
"He must've taken it pretty bad." Tara surmised.  
  
"Sure did," Willow smiled, taking a sip of her Coke. "He didn't know who to trust anymore, and when he saw Spike sitting there on the stairs, he wasn't a happy camper."  
  
"They'd been chasing him. . ." Tara guessed. "A...and to see him hiding out with you. . ."  
  
"Kind of a betrayal," Willow finished.  
  
"So, w...what happened next?" Tara asked.  
  
"Well," Willow began, choosing her words. "They talked, and then Riley walked out, pretty pissed off. . . Which is when we decided it wasn't exactly safe for any of us."  
  
"The Initiative?" Tara questioned.  
  
"Yeah," Willow replied. "We had no idea what their agenda was, or if they wanted to hurt all of us, or anything really. . . so we decided it was best to hide out."  
  
Tara took in Willow's words, not liking the idea of her friend in danger. "Where did you hide?" She asked.  
  
"We all spent the night at Xander's," Willow explained. "Not one of my favourite nights I have to admit."  
  
"No?" Tara smiled, bringing the coke to her lips.  
  
"Definitely not," Willow continued. "I mean, I'd wanted to spend time with the gang. . . get close again, but to be cooped up in Xander's basement, forced to listen to Giles squeaking, and Anya snoring. . . well it wasn't one of our best bonding experiences."  
  
Tara giggled at Willow's explanation, enjoying her friend's way with words. "So. . . I'm guessing you didn't get much sleep then?"  
  
"You got that right," Willow quipped, taking another sip of her coke. "Which is why I wasn't in the best of moods this morning, especially after watching the news."  
  
"You mean the Polgara demon?" Tara asked, her guilt returning.  
  
Willow nodded in agreement. "We figured Professor Walsh had sent it after Buffy, but being a demon. . . it got distracted and. . ."  
  
"Killed that kid," Tara finished.  
  
"Yeah," Willow smiled. "So Buffy went off to the crime scene, while the rest of us stayed back to do research."  
  
"That's when you found the spell. . ." Tara guessed.  
  
"Right," Willow grinned. "Only we couldn't make it work. . ."  
  
"I'm sorry," Tara interrupted, feeling guilty again.  
  
"Hey," Willow burst out. She grabbed Tara's hand and squeezed it. "Enough with the blame game."  
  
Thrilled by her touch, Tara couldn't help but smile at Willow's words.  
  
Meeting the girl's eyes, Willow squeezed her friend's hand again, before letting it go. "Besides," she continued. "The spell would've been pointless anyway."  
  
"W...what do you mean?" Tara asked. She was eager for any information that would exonerate her guilt.  
  
"Not so fast," Willow teased, feeling playful again. "You gotta let me get on with the story. . . you'll find out soon."  
  
Tara laughed at her friend, deciding to indulge her. "Fine."  
  
Well," Willow began. "When I got back to Xander's I found out that Professor Walsh was dead. . ."  
  
"Dead?" Tara interrupted, slightly shaken by the news.  
  
"Killed by the same thing that killed the boy." Willow explained.  
  
"Y...You're kidding?" Tara stammered out.  
  
"Nope," Willow shook her head. "Buffy found out when she met up with Riley at the crime scene. He was there for the same reason as Buffy. . ."  
  
"To track the Polgara," Tara finished.  
  
"Yeah," Willow smiled. She loved the way Tara seemed to share her thought pattern. "Only he still wasn't too sure where his loyalties should lie and stuff. . . In fact he totally freaked out at Willie's bar."  
  
"What?" Tara asked, not following the last part of her sentence.  
  
Taking another sip of her coke, Willow continued her explanation. "After Buffy left him, she went to Willie the snitch for information, and Riley followed her. Let me tell you, he wasn't too pleased to find her in a demon bar, especially after seeing Spike with us the other day."  
  
"That's why he freaked." Tara let out.  
  
Willow nodded. "But we can't really blame him, as it turns out the Initiative had pumped him up with all sorts of drugs and vitamins and stuff, making him like a super soldier. . . But with Professor Walsh dead. . ."  
  
"No more drugs," Tara interrupted.  
  
"Right," Willow grinned. She was thrilled by the way Tara finished her sentences. She couldn't believe how intuitive the girl was. . . how quickly she understood her.  
  
"So he's in withdrawal?" Tara surmised. "And it's m...making him act out?"  
  
"Yeah," Willow confirmed. "Which is why Buffy brought him back to Xander's. . . forced him to rest while she and Xander invaded the Initiative for information."  
  
"What happened next?" Tara asked, drinking some more Coke.  
  
Willow followed Tara's lead, and took another sip of her own Coke. She smiled at the girl before continuing. "When Riley found out Buffy had left, he wasn't too pleased. He wanted to go after her, I tried to stop him, but he pushed me to the floor, and ran straight to the Initiative. . ."  
  
Tara frowned at the thought of Willow getting pushed around. "Were you okay?" She asked.  
  
Willow smiled at the girl's concern. "Yeah," she reassured. "Been a Scooby for 4 years now, so being pushed to the ground by a super soldier. . . all in a days work." Willow chuckled, trying to lighten the mood.  
  
Tara didn't like the idea of her friend in constant danger, but forced a smile at her humour. What the girl did was honourable, even if it was dangerous, and she couldn't help but admire her for it. "So what happened at the Initiative?"  
  
"A lot actually," Willow began. "As it turned out, the thing that killed that kid, and Professor Walsh, wasn't actually a Polgara demon."  
  
"No?" Tara asked, her curiosity peaked.  
  
"No," Willow returned. "It seems that Professor Walsh was working on a pet project called 314, and that project turned out to be Adam."  
  
"Adam?" Tara asked.  
  
Taking another sip of her coke, Willow continued. "Adam is this cyber demon humananoid hybrid thingy."  
  
"A what?" Tara asked, not quite understanding.  
  
Smiling, Willow realised she needed to make things clearer. "He's a Frankenstein-like creation, made up of human, demon, and computer parts. Professor Walsh designed him, and when he woke up, the first thing he did was kill her. . . kind of ironic really."  
  
"That's why the spell wouldn't have mattered," Tara realised, feeling as if a huge burden had been lifted from her.  
  
"That's right," Willow agreed. She grinned as she noticed Tara's change in mood. "So, no more blame game?"  
  
"No more blame game," Tara giggled. She loved the silliness of the words, finding Willow's childish side adorable. "Did Buffy kill Adam?" She asked, suddenly curious.  
  
"Not exactly," Willow answered. "You see, Adam's kinda really powerful, seemingly unstoppable actually. . . He completely beat Buffy down."  
  
Finishing the last of her Coke, Tara frowned at the words. "And what about Riley?" She asked. "Is he okay now?"  
  
"We hope so," Willow explained. "Buffy left him at the Initiative. The Commando guys said they look after their own, and she had no choice but to leave him there. . . hopefully he's too valuable a soldier for them to hurt."  
  
"I hope Buffy's okay. . ." Tara let out. "How's she dealing?"  
  
"Slayer style," Willow quipped.  
  
"How?" Tara asked, giggling.  
  
"Patrolling," Willow explained. "Looking for Adam, killing demons. . ." She paused, drinking the rest of her Coke. "I offered to talk about it, but she's in a killing mood now. . . She'll probably wanna talk tomorrow, before class or something. . ."  
  
"Yeah," Tara agreed, smiling at Willow. She reached out and took the empty can of Coke from her friend. Getting up, she walked to the bin and placed both of their cans inside. Turning around, she walked back to sit on the bed again.  
  
Looking at her friend, Willow took a deep breath. She suddenly became very nervous, seeing as she still hadn't asked if she could stay over. She'd been putting it off, scared of being rejected. "So, did you like the pizza?" She ventured.  
  
Tara nodded, suddenly curious. She smiled at Willow, wondering what she was up to. "It was nice, thanks."  
  
"Good. . ." Willow trailed off, avoiding the girl's eyes.  
  
"What's going on Willow?" Tara asked, sensing her friend's nervousness.  
  
"Um, well, ya see," She started to babble. "We're still kinda hiding out and stuff. . . at least for a few days. We're not really sure how safe we are. . . Anyway, the thing is, I'm not too keen on spending another night at Xander's. . . I would if I have to. . . but I was just wondering if I could. . . that is, if you wouldn't mind. . . I mean. . . I wouldn't wanna impose or anything. . . but I'd love to. . . you know. . . hide out here for a few days. . . if it's okay. . ?"  
  
Tara was speechless. Willow wanted to stay here. . ? She wanted to stay in her room. . . in her bed. . ? Of course it was okay. It was more than okay. . . How could it not be okay. . ? Tara could feel a huge grin lighting her face. The prospect of having Willow around was so exiting, she just couldn't control her elation. "Oh yes," she burst out loudly.  
  
"Really?" Willow asked, just as loudly.  
  
Tara nodded, her grin widening. "Yeah."  
  
Willow responded by bringing Tara into a warm hug. She squeezed the girl tightly, letting her know just how happy she was. Suddenly embarrassed over her outburst, she quickly pulled away, giving the girl a shy smile. "Thanks," she whispered huskily.  
  
Tara had been surprised, but elated by Willow's reaction. She just loved Willow's touch, and found it adorable how open she could be at times. She returned the girl's smile, feeling her own shyness come over her. "So, all your stuff's in the bag?" She asked, gesturing towards it.  
  
"Yeah," Willow replied. "I thought. . . just in case. . ."  
  
"Cool," Tara interrupted, wanting to put the girl at ease. "You can unpack it if you like, I...I don't mind if you leave your stuff here. . ." She trailed off, suddenly shy. She didn't want to come on too strong, but she wanted to let the girl know she was welcomed.  
  
Willow smiled. "Thanks." She suddenly became serious. "Are you sure it's okay?" She asked. "I really don't want to impose. . . and if you're just being polite. . ."  
  
Tara reached for Willow and clasped their hands together. Meeting her gaze, she spoke out firmly. "I'm glad you're here Willow. I...I like spending t...time with you," she admitted shyly.  
  
"Really?" Willow asked, feeling her heart race at the girl's words. Willow felt her insecurities fading as Tara nodded, and squeezed her hands. "Me too," she admitted, smiling at Tara. She gazed into the girl's eyes, letting herself go with the moment. She could see the affection in the girl's eye, mirroring the look in her own. They were more than just friends she realised, not yet lovers, or girlfriends, but they were something. . . She suddenly wondered how long she'd have to wait before she could actually kiss the girl. . . really kiss her that is. She wanted to feel the girl's lips against her own, taste them, enter her mouth with her tongue, and show the girl exactly how much more than friends they really were. But some part of her was scared. . . scared of being rejected. . . of ruining their friendship. . . scared to simply allow herself to feel again. She'd been so hurt by Oz, that she didn't know if she could handle having her heart broken again. . .  
  
Tara felt herself becoming giddy from Willow's gaze. The girl was looking at her with such affection, she felt like her whole body was on fire. Her love for Willow became stronger every minute, but the knowledge that Willow might also feel something for her, gave her this really warm feeling inside. Tara stared lovingly into her friend's eyes, not knowing how to react, wanting to lean over and kiss her, but too scared of the consequences.  
  
"I think I'm gonna take a shower," Willow suddenly burst out. She couldn't handle the sexual tension between them any longer. She needed to clear her mind, put things in perspective, before she did something she'd regret.  
  
"I'll join you," Tara responded, needing a breather of her own.  
  
Willow looked at her friend in bemusement, wondering if the girl knew what she'd implied. She could just imagine what it would be like to shower with Tara. . . and well, that thought was anything but safe. . .  
  
Suddenly realising what she'd said, Tara began to stutter terribly, her face turning bright red. "I...I m...mean I'll c...come w...with you to the shower, th...that is. . . I m...mean to shower at the same time. . .d...different stalls. . . n...not join you, b...but. . ."  
  
Willow giggled at Tara's embarrassment. She reached out and placed her hands on the girl's shoulders, steadying her. "It's okay," she interrupted. "I get it."  
  
Tara stopped her stuttering. Looking into Willow's eyes, she noticed the bemusement. Suddenly feeling very silly, she burst into nervous giggles, realising how funny the situation actually was. After a moment, she stopped her laughter. "Do you need a towel?" She asked.  
  
Willow nodded, realising she'd forgotten to pack one. "Yeah," she replied. "That would be great. I brought everything I'd need, like shampoo and stuff, but for some reason I don't think I packed a towel."  
  
"Well, I've got plenty of spares," Tara assured. She got up off the bed, and walked towards her closet.  
  
Taking her friend's lead, Willow stood up as well. She walked to her bag, searching around for the stuff she'd need to take with her. After a minute, she'd packed everything into her tote bag - the one she always used for showering. Standing up, she turned around to see what Tara was doing. The girl had already gathered up her stuff, and seemed to be waiting for her.  
  
Noticing her friend had finished, Tara smiled. "Ready?" She asked, handing her a towel.  
  
"Yeah," Willow replied, accepting the towel. "Thanks."  
  
With those words, the two girls headed out the door, making their way towards the shower block in silence.  
  
  
  
***  
  
  
Letting the water rush over her, Willow imagined what Tara looked like in the shower next to her. . . naked. . . wet. . . dripping with soap. . . Sighing, she grabbed the soap and started running it over her own body. Unbidden, thoughts of them making love entered her brain. She'd never made love to a woman before, never even fantasised about it, but her need for Tara was so great, her instincts guided her. . . told her what she wanted. . . what she wanted to do to Tara. No other woman had made her feel this way, only Tara. . . beautiful, shy, sexy Tara. . .   
  
She imagined herself kissing Tara, tasting her lips. . . imagined how soft they would be. . . She'd capture them with her own, savouring them. She imagined what it would feel like to run her tongue along Tara's lips. . . begging for entrance as the girl accepted her into her mouth. Before long, she'd be wanting to kiss Tara's neck, to taste her softness. She'd probably run her hands down Tara's back, reaching underneath her shirt to feel the girl's skin. Imagining what that would feel like, Willow realised she wouldn't be able to resist pulling the shirt right off the girl. She'd then make quick work of Tara's bra, exposing her voluptuous breasts to her. She'd touch them with reverence, hold them in her hands, before gently pinching the girl's nipples. . . Her head would then reach down, as her mouth suckled at Tara's breasts.  
  
Her hands would be free now. . . free to roam over Tara's body. She'd reach down between them and unbutton Tara's jeans. She'd pull away, long enough to push them down her legs, dragging her panties along with them. She'd remove her own clothing, needing to feel their naked bodies together. Taking the girl by the shoulders, she'd lead her to the bed, gently pushing her down as she lay on top of her. She could only imagine what it would feel like to be so close to Tara. . . their breasts touching. . . their legs entwined as they rubbed up against each other. Their fingers would come into play. . . touching. . . penetrating . . . making love. . . coming together. . .  
  
Turning off the hot water, Willow decided a cold shower was best. She couldn't believe what had just gone through her mind. She'd never had such a vivid fantasy in her entire life, especially about another woman. Sure, she'd had fantasies before, but they'd never been so detailed, so well thought out. . . She could practically feel what it would be like to make love to Tara. How was she going to sleep next to her now, with the thought of them making love so fresh in her mind. . ? Closing her eyes, she let the cold water do its job, hoping it would be enough. . .  
  
  
***  
  
  
In the adjoining shower stall, similar thoughts were running through Tara's mind. She was unable to control herself, knowing that the girl she loved was so close. . . and naked. . . only a thin wall separating them. Grabbing the shampoo, she ran it through her hair, trying to restrain her thoughts. It wouldn't do to indulge in her fantasies. . . not when she was about to share a bed with the object of them. Rinsing her hair, she closed her eyes as the water ran over her. Of its own will, her mind drifted back towards Willow. She couldn't help it, the need to make love to her was so great, and it just wouldn't leave her mind.  
  
She imagined what her kisses would be like, how soft Willow's lips would feel against hers. . . tasting, caressing, as she opened her mouth, letting their tongues touch. She imagined Willow's tongue inside her mouth, meeting with hers, running itself over every last crevice, before pulling away from her to run down her neck. Meanwhile, her own hands would run themselves down Willow's back, going lower until they reached her waist. She'd move her hands to the front then, reaching up under the girl's shirt to caress her breasts. She'd pull away slightly as she lifted Willow's shirt, exposing her nakedness. Willow would then do the same. . . run her hands down beneath her shirt. . . along her back, as she dragged the material off her body.  
  
They'd stare at each other, take in the sight of their half naked bodies. Simultaneously, they'd unhook their own bras, exposing themselves to each other's gaze. Her hands would reach for Willow's breasts. . . gently touching. . . caressing. . . cupping. . . and Willow would reach for hers as well. . . she'd touch her. . . hold her. . . bring her lips to taste and suckle. . .let her tongue circle around. . .  
  
Her hands would reach down Willow's body, move between the girl's legs, teasing her through her clothing. She'd unbutton Willow's pants, hook her fingers around her panties, and drag them down the girl's legs. She'd take a moment to look over Willow's naked body, getting rid of her own jeans and panties in the process. With both of them naked, they'd make their way to the bed. Willow would cover her body with kisses, then settle between her legs. . .taste her, and make love to her until she screamed out in ecstasy. Once she'd recovered, she would turn Willow onto her back, and show her with her own mouth, exactly how much she loved her.  
  
Tara squirted the conditioner into her hand, cursing her errant thoughts. As she ran it through her hair, she couldn't believe how realistic her fantasy had been. She'd never really made love before, never felt what it was like to scream in ecstasy from a lover's touch. . . but from the images in her mind, she could almost feel it. Rinsing the conditioner out of her hair, she decided it was time for a cold shower. She needed to cool herself down before she faced Willow, or who knew what she might end up doing. . .  
  
  
***  
  
  
Willow brushed her hair as she waited for Tara to finish. She was still trying to get the sexual images out of her head, finding it hard to believe how realistic they'd been. They'd made her feel like she was actually there, giving in to her desires. . . making love to Tara. Sighing, she forced herself to think about something else. She was about to share a bed with Tara, and it wouldn't be a good idea to succumb to her desire. . . she still wasn't quite ready to move their relationship that far. . .   
  
She looked up at the sound of a door opening, her breath catching at the sight of Tara coming out of the shower stall. Her hair was wrapped up in a towel, exposing the girl's face and neck to her gaze. This was the first time she'd gotten an unrestricted look. . . seeing as Tara usually hid behind her hair, and only one word could describe her. . . breathtaking. Absorbing the rest of the girl's appearance, she noticed Tara was wearing a low cut tank top, similar to the one she'd worn to bed the other night, but since it had been dark, she'd been unable to get a good look. . . Willow felt her gaze drift downward, pausing as it reached the exposed area of the girl's chest, her desire mounting as she noticed the girl's cleavage. Tara's tank top did not leave much to the imagination, and she could practically make out the outline of the girl's breasts. . . could see her nipples pointing out through the material. . . Needing to focus, she forced her gaze downwards, suddenly realising that was a mistake. Tara was wearing these adorable little grey shorts. . . they hung loose around her, barely reaching her thighs. . . giving her eyes free access to the girl's legs. . . her long. . . smooth. . . surprisingly well toned. . . legs.  
  
Closing her eyes, Willow attempted to curb her desire. She forced herself to think un sexy thoughts. . . demons. . . vampires. . .sucking. . . biting. . .tasting. . . Tara. . . It wasn't working. She couldn't tear her mind away from Tara. Opening her eyes, she noticed Tara had spotted her, and was walking slowly towards her.  
  
"Hey Willow!" Tara smiled, reaching the girl's side. "You ready to go."  
  
Looking at her friend, Willow returned the smile. "Sure."  
  
The two girl's exchanged a shy glance before heading out the door. They walked back to the dorm in silence, both lost in their own thoughts.   
  
Tara was still recovering from her fantasy, doing her best to put it out of her mind. Seeing Willow as she'd opened the door, dressed in those adorable plaid pyjamas, had done nothing to squelch her desires. She'd also noticed the way Willow had been looking at her, moving her gaze right down her body, and it sent a fierce curl of desire straight through her centre. No one had ever looked at her that way, as if she was sexy. . . something to be desired. . .and she didn't quite know how to deal with it. Why would she have such an affect on the girl. . ?  
  
On reaching her room, Tara opened the door and let them in. Waiting for Willow to step through, she closed it behind her, then dumped her towel and dirty clothes in the hamper. "You can put your stuff here too," she offered, looking over at Willow. "I don't mind the extra laundry."  
  
"You sure?" Willow asked, not wanting to impose.  
  
"Yeah," she smiled. "I...it's no hassle."  
  
"Well OK," Willow conceded. "But only if you promise to let me help you with it."  
  
Tara smiled. "If you want to. . ."  
  
"It's a deal." With those words, Willow walked over and dropped the towel in the hamper. Opening her bag, she placed her clothes in as well. Looking up, she felt her jaw drop, as her desire returned tenfold. Tara was bent over at the waist, her hair covering her face as she towelled it dry. Closing her mouth, Willow couldn't help but offer. . .  
  
"Want help?" She asked, moving to stand next to Tara.  
  
"W...what?" Tara looked up, startled by Willow's question.  
  
Before she could protest, Willow reached for Tara's hands. "Here," she whispered, grabbing the towel from her. "Let me." With those words, she placed the towel in the hamper, then walked towards Tara's desk, pulling the chair out from under it. She then smiled at Tara, and motioned for her to sit down.  
  
Tara complied, enthralled by Willow's actions. She had no idea what Willow was up to, but her love and attraction for the girl made it impossible to deny her anything. . . especially when she looked at her that way. . .  
  
Pleased with the girl's cooperation, Willow felt confident to go on. "Where do you keep your hair dryer?" She asked softly.  
  
"Over there," Tara replied, pointing towards her dresser. She moved to get up, but Willow placed a light hand on her shoulder, pausing her movements.  
  
"I'll get it," Willow explained. Walking towards the dresser, she quickly found the item, locating a brush at the same time. She didn't know why she was doing this, or if it was even a good idea. Although, there was nothing really wrong with what she was doing. . . it was a perfect way to be close to Tara, to touch her, without crossing any boundaries. . . Friends did this all the time. . .  
  
Tara watched Willow with anticipation as she walked back towards her. She finally understood what the girl had in mind, and she could feel her heart racing at the idea. She watched as Willow let go of the brush, plugged the hair dryer into the nearby wall socket, and placed it down on the desk.  
  
Moving to stand behind Tara, Willow forced herself to relax as she reached for the girl's hair. Taking it in her hands, she gathered it up, twisting it as she squeezed out any remaining moisture. She couldn't help noticing how good it felt against her fingers, how nice her shampoo smelt. . . Shaking her head, she reached for the hair dryer. Flicking it on, she started to slowly dry the girl's hair, enjoying the sensation of it. . . the intimacy of running her hands through the girl's hair, holding it up to the warm air, letting her fingers occasionally brush up against Tara's neck. Willow stirred at the action, reminding herself that even though touching Tara was too hard to resist, she needed to keep it brief, she didn't want to be too obvious. . .  
  
Tara closed her eyes at Willow's touch, enjoying the sensation, unsure of how to behave. Living in a small town, and not having many close friends growing up, she'd missed out on stuff like this. She'd never had a friend blow dry her hair before. . . in fact, Willow had even been the first girl she'd ever had over for a sleepover. She suddenly remembered the girl was going to be around for the next few days, hiding out. . . What exactly did that require? Did Willow mean she would just sleep over at night, or would she come over during the day as well. . . to hang out and stuff. . ? Pleased at the idea, she relaxed, letting herself enjoy the sensation of Willow's touch.  
  
After about twenty minutes, Willow figured that Tara's hair was dry enough. She was reluctant to stop, but she didn't want to frizzle the girl's hair. . . Turning off the hair dryer, she placed it back on the desk, grabbing the hairbrush. Now that the girl's hair was dry, it was time to brush out the tangles. Running the brush over Tara's hair, Willow felt like she was in heaven, if in fact such a place existed. She just loved the girl's hair, it was so soft. . . and silky. . . and Tara's. . . How she loved everything about Tara. . . and not just her body. In fact, the girl's body was the last thing she'd noticed about her. . . well. . . admitted to noticing anyway. Tara was one of the nicest, kindest, most caring people she'd ever met, as well as being a really powerful witch. How could anyone not love her. . . ?   
  
Willow froze at the thought. Could she. . . ? Was she. . . ? Falling in love with Tara. . . ? Is that what those feelings were? Is that why she couldn't seem to get enough of the girl? Why she'd just had the most vivid sexual fantasy of her life about her? Was she really falling in love? Willow stopped brushing Tara's hair. Stepping away, she put the brush down. It was late, and she was tired. Right now was not the best time to think about such things. Whatever her feelings were, she'd think about them tomorrow, when she was alone. Right now she just needed some sleep.  
  
"There," Willow spoke out, moving to stand in front of Tara. "All done."  
  
Tara looked at the girl in front of her, giving her a wide smile. "Thanks," she returned. "That was nice."  
  
Willow smiled back, meeting the girl's gaze. Tara was looking at her with such adoration, she couldn't help feeling giddy. "My pleasure," she replied. "Your hair's so soft and silky."  
  
Tara just smiled wider, pleased with the complement. She didn't know what possessed her, but as she stood up, she felt her hand reaching for Willow's. She squeezed it gently, and leaned over to brush her lips against the girl's cheek. As she let her lips linger, she could almost hear her heart pounding. After a moment, she pulled away slowly, giving the girl a shy smile.   
  
"Thanks," she whispered, meeting her gaze briefly. She let go of Willow's hand, then moved to sit down on the bed. She was suddenly feeling very embarrassed over her actions, surprised by her own boldness. It was just that being so close to Willow. . . feeling the girl's hands in her hair, the way her fingers had occasionally brushed against her neck, her shoulder. . .well it had felt so good, and so right, that she just couldn't help herself. She loved Willow, and the more time she spent with her, the harder it was to hide it.  
  
Tara's kiss had caught Willow off guard. This was the first time the girl had kissed her. . .well. . . initiated a kiss anyway. There was that brief kiss the other morning when she'd said goodbye, but the girl had simply been returning her own gesture of affection. This time Tara had leant over and kissed her cheek all on her own, and it left her feeling entirely breathless. She'd completely enjoyed the sensation of the girl's lips on her skin, it had given her this really warm tingly feeling, and she could feel the blush covering her face. When Tara had pulled away, she'd had to restrain herself from reaching back out to the girl, taking her in her arms, and claiming those soft luscious lips of hers with her own.  
  
"So," Willow began, trying to focus. She moved towards the bed and sat next to Tara. "Did you want to do something?" She asked.  
  
"Like what?" Tara asked. She looked at the girl next to her, and smiled.  
  
"I don't know," Willow began. "I'm just kinda tired I guess. . .spending last night at Xander's. . ."  
  
"I get it," Tara let out smiling.  
  
Willow smiled back. "I hope you don't mind if we. . ."  
  
"Of course not," Tara was quick to reply. "I...I'm a b..bit tired myself."  
  
"Great," Willow replied. She widened her smile as she got up off the bed. "Do you want me to get the lights?" She asked.  
  
"Oh, that's okay," Tara replied, standing up. "I'll do it."  
  
As Tara made quick work of the lights, Willow climbed into her side of the bed, the one she'd used the other night. She suddenly felt really nervous. Her heart was pounding with anticipation, knowing that once Tara joined her, the barriers would break down. . . some of them anyway. Sharing a bed was the perfect excuse to snuggle, to be together, without technically crossing any lines. Actions could be explained. . . it was cold, they were tired, and sleep came easier when you snuggled.  
  
With the lights out, Tara took a moment to let her eyes adjust. Once she could make out the images of the room, she slowly made her way back to the bed. As she climbed in, she could feel Willow moving, turning towards her. Reminding herself to breathe, Tara lay on her side to face her.  
  
"Hey," Willow whispered, feeling suddenly shy.  
  
"Hey," Tara returned, her gaze meeting Willow's.  
  
The two girls lay there, inches apart, their bodies almost touching. They both wanted to reach out, hold each other, and fall asleep together. . . but their shyness was getting the better of them. They were both afraid to make the first move, afraid of misreading the situation, of making the other girl uncomfortable, scaring them off. . . scared that even the simplest touch would make them succumb to their desires.  
  
Willow finally decided to do something. She could tell by the way Tara was looking at her, that she was just as scared as she was. The situation was ridiculous, she'd have to be blind not to have noticed the girl's affection for her, so why couldn't she just take her in her arms? With those thoughts, Willow reached her hand out slowly, placing it gently on the girl's shoulder. She almost pulled back however, as she was met with bare skin. She'd forgotten what the girl was wearing, and that her arms and legs were completely exposed. The feel of Tara's naked shoulder had caused an electric shock to run down Willow's entire body, and she was now unable to control her actions.  
  
Enjoying the feel of the girl's skin, Willow let her hand run down the length of Tara's arm. She took in the softness, bringing her hand slowly downwards, before sliding it back up. She could hear Tara's breathing become shallow, as she reacted to her touch. The girl's response thrilled her, gave her confidence. Willow put her arm around Tara, pulling her close as she moved to lie on her back. Using both arms to hold her now, she sighed in contentment as Tara rested her head against her shoulder, and snaked an arm around her waist.  
  
With her head against Willow's shoulder, Tara finally felt herself start to calm down. When Willow had touched her, she'd felt her breath catch, and her mind go blank. As she'd closed her eyes, all she could do was respond to the caress, loose herself in the sensation of Willow's hand against her skin. When Willow had pulled her close, she'd felt her heart stop, and her body melt. She now couldn't stop herself from curling up to the girl, reaching her own arm around her, and using her shoulder as a pillow.  
  
The intimacy of their position was apparent to both girls. They both knew that snuggling up like this reached well beyond the boundaries of simple friendship, that their actions denoted a deep affection for each other. They recognized that their relationship had moved onto the next stage, that they were definitely more than just friends, and even though they couldn't say it out loud, they cared deeply for one another. Allowing their bodies to relax, the two girls succumbed to the moment, drew each other close, and let themselves fall asleep in each other's arms.  
  
  
***  
  
  
The next morning, Tara was once again the first one to wake up. Her head was still curled up against Willow's shoulder, only during the night it had moved slightly, and her lips were now nuzzling Willow's neck. Still half asleep, she took in the feel of the girl's skin against her lips, and placed a gentle kiss on Willow's pulse point. She was only slightly aware of her actions, as she kissed the girl again. She then moved upwards a bit, and placed a kiss against Willow's jaw, then against her cheek, then just as she was about to kiss the girl's lips, she realised what she was doing. She quickly pulled back, but in her attempt to drag herself away from Willow, she managed to wake the girl up.  
  
"Hey," Willow mumbled sleepily. She reached out for Tara, and pulled her back down. She still wasn't fully awake, and the only thing that registered in her half conscious mind, was that the body wrapped around her felt too good to let go. She ran her hands over the girl's back, pulling her even tighter against her. As she began to wake up however, she realised what she was doing. Noticing that Tara wasn't complaining though, she decided to indulge herself. She lay there, not saying anything, just enjoying the feel of having Tara in her arms.   
  
"Morning," Willow spoke eventually, knowing she couldn't stay like this all day. She looked down, unable to keep from smiling. Tara's head was once again resting against her shoulder, and she couldn't help but think how right it felt.  
  
"Morning," Tara returned. She shifted her gaze upwards, and smiled at the girl. She couldn't believe Willow was still holding her. When she'd pulled her down, the girl was still asleep, but now she was awake, and she was still in her arms. . . that said a lot about their relationship she realised. They were definitely getting closer, and she couldn't help but feel all warm and tingly about it. Suddenly feeling bold, she moved forward and brushed her lips against Willow's cheek. She kissed the girl softly, enjoying the sensation for a brief moment, before moving her head back down to Willow's shoulder.  
  
Willow was pleasantly surprised by Tara's show of affection. "Mmmm," she sighed, tightening her hold on the girl. Unable to resist, she leaned downwards and brushed her own lips against Tara's cheek.  
  
Tara felt her breath catch at Willow's response. She couldn't believe how intimate they were becoming. Here she was, waking up next to the girl she loved, openly kissing her cheek, holding her tight, resting her head against her shoulder, and even being kissed by her. Tara decided that this was the happiest moment in her life. . . one she never wanted to have end.  
  
The two girls lay there in bed, neither saying a word, simply enjoying the closeness. This was new to them both, and they wanted to completely absorb the new stage in their relationship. Willow had never been involved with a girl before, and Tara had never been involved with anyone. They were both nervous, shy, and unsure of how to proceed. However, lying in bed, holding each other, felt right. . . natural somehow. Where their relationship was heading. . . what they meant to each other. . whatever was going to happen next, was still a mystery to them. . . one that left them both fearful and exited. Neither wanted to move, to break the spell. . . they just wanted to enjoy the rightness of the moment, where everything was good, and clear, and as it should be.  
  
After a few minutes, Willow realised this couldn't go on forever. Much as she would love to stay in bed with Tara all day, she knew it was impossible. She had things to do. . .  
  
"I should get up," Willow grumbled. She made no move to do so however, choosing instead to continue running her hand up and down Tara's back.  
  
"Mm hmm," Tara responded, enjoying the caress.  
  
"I've got class," Willow explained, trying to motivate herself.  
  
"And you gotta meet Buffy," Tara reminded her.  
  
"Yeah," Willow smiled, pleased that the girl remembered. She'd almost forgotten about that. "I should really get up. . ."  
  
"You should," Tara agreed.  
  
"What about you?" Willow asked, moving her hand up to stroke her hair. "Don't you have class?"  
  
"Yeah," Tara sighed. "At 9."  
  
Willow glanced towards the girl's clock. "It's almost 8 now."  
  
"Oh," Tara whispered, not really taking it in. After a moment, the lateness suddenly registered with her. Reluctantly, she extricated herself from Willow, smiling down at her as she got out of bed.  
  
Willow didn't want to let Tara go just yet, but realised that she too would be late. Her first class wasn't until 10, but she needed to talk to Buffy beforehand. Getting up, she walked towards her bag and located her toothbrush. She turned around to face Tara, who was now searching around in her closet for something to wear.   
  
"I'm gonna go freshen up a bit," Willow let out.  
  
"Okay," Tara smiled.   
  
When Willow got back, Tara took her own turn in the bathroom, leaving the girl alone to get dressed. After about 10 minutes, she returned, freshened up, and holding two steaming mochas.  
  
"Thanks," Willow smiled as she took the coffee.  
  
"Your welcome," Tara replied.  
  
They sat down in silence as they drank their mochas. They were both feeling shy after their shared intimacy, and were wondering where they went from here. There was so much they wanted to say to each other. . to ask. .to know, but they couldn't quite get the words out. Several times they'd opened their mouths to say something, but had thought better of it.  
  
Tara was the first to speak. She'd finished her mocha quickly, knowing she would be late otherwise. "I should get to class," she smiled, throwing her cup in the bin.  
  
"Okay," Willow replied, standing up. "I guess I should go too."  
  
"You can stay if you like," Tara let out. She didn't want the girl to rush just because she had too. "I d..don't mind you being here when I'm not around," she explained.  
  
Willow smiled at Tara's words. "But I should really go check on Buffy, see how she's doing."  
  
"Okay," Tara smiled. "B...but, I meant what I said. . . y...you can come in even if I'm not here," she explained. "Like, between class and stuff. . ."  
  
"Really," Willow responded, thrilled at the idea. "I wouldn't want to impose or anything. . ."  
  
"Your not," Tara reassured her. "The door's always open."  
  
"Thanks," Willow smiled.  
  
"Oh," Tara suddenly thought of something. "If you w...want, feel free to look at any of my spell books while your here."  
  
Willow smiled at Tara's words, overjoyed with the possibility. She suddenly realised that hiding out at Tara's had been the best idea she'd had in her entire life. It was the perfect opportunity to get close to the girl. Overcome with affection for her, Willow set down her mocha and walked towards Tara. She put her arms around the girl's waist, and brought her close for a hug. She felt the girl's arms reach around her neck as she tightened the embrace.  
  
"Thanks," she whispered against the girls ear.  
  
"You're welcome," Tara whispered back.  
  
After a minute, Willow turned her head, kissing the girl's cheek before letting her go. She watched as Tara blushed sweetly, before walking over to her desk. The girl quickly located the books she needed. Gathering them up in her arms, she made her way towards the entrance of her room. Willow followed her then, opening the door for her.  
  
Tara smiled at Willow, pleased by her thoughtfulness. "I'll see you soon?" She asked.  
  
"Yeah," Willow replied, meeting her gaze.  
  
Looking at Willow, Tara suddenly felt giddy. She couldn't help but like the idea of leaving Willow alone in her room, as if they were sharing it. . . living together. . . Giving in to her emotions, Tara pressed a quick kiss against Willow's cheek, before walking out the door.  
  
Watching Tara leave for class, Willow put her hand up to her cheek. The feel of the girl's lips against her skin always left her feeling breathless. Once Tara was out of sight, she closed the door and walked to where she'd left her mocha. Deciding to take her mocha with her, Willow took one last glance around the room before heading out the door. Much as she would love to stick around, take Tara up on her offer to look at her spell books, she had to meet up with Buffy. Closing the door behind her, she couldn't wait to see her friend and get to class. The sooner her obligations were out of the way, the sooner she could come back here, to Tara's room. . . to Tara herself. She'd memorised the girl's schedule and knew exactly when her breaks were. . . knew that she only had morning classes today, and that like her, she would be free all afternoon. . . With those thoughts, Willow couldn't help but smile as she made her way over to Xander's to meet with Buffy.  
  
THE END 


End file.
